Saturday, May 21, 2011
Welcome Jenni!
Everyone is a mirror image of yourself---your own thinking coming back at you! Thank you Jenni for posting and you captured it exactly when you said you can't change others actions just your thinking about it. I am still working through Chapter 5, and in the comment section under this post I will show how I too used the paper work provided by BK on her website. (Baring my soul)!! This is slow work because we have to wait for some of the lifes circumstances to come up before we can use these tools and then it takes so much emotional work to get through it. So keep up the good work everyone and thanks for all the sharing and encouragement!
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I used One-Belief-at-a-Time Worksheet to work this process: This is what I wrote.
ReplyDeleteCircumstance-Bobby went to a casino last weekend, has not been to one in two years.
Belief-BOBBY ISN'T TRUSTWORTHY-HE WILL GO BACK TO GAMBLING AGAIN.
Is it true? (yes or no only) NO
Can you know its true? NO
How do you react when you believe the thought? Angry, fearful, panicky, suspicious, hurt, rejected, and judgemental. This thought brings such stress into my mind and body. I feel it in my neck, shoulders and upper back. What I see is the image from the past when he was gambling at the casino with Shanna (his daughter) and me feeling as if I wasn't enough, he had to leave me and go stay with her. I immediately think of using food to numb & stuff my feelings and make me feel better or for the thoughts to disappear. I treat Bobby with scorn and indignation and say I work to hard for you to be spending money like this.Then I treat myself poorly by feeling guilty about being mad.
Who would you be without the thought? I feel peaceful, my body isn't aching, my joy is back, my trust, compassionate and loving.
I see a reason to drop the thought.
Turn the thought around: I'M NOT TRUSTWORHY-1. I don't follow through with just eating when I'm hungry. 2. I spend money when I shouldn't.
HE WON'T START GAMBLING- 1. He doesn't lie to me. 2. He does want to be with me. 3. He does follow through with what he says. (I think of specific examples to back this up)
THIS HELPED ME SEE THAT I NEED TO BE TRUSTWORTHY.
Getting this down on paper really helped me, because if I just tried to do it in my mind, my mind wouldn't let it go beyond the anger, and I kept fueling my thoughts with more and more false stories. So I can see how taking the time to write it down really works. I CANNOT CHANGE PEOPLE OR THE SITUATIONS ONLY MYSELF AND MY STORIES.
Whew! That was long, hope this helps though!
Julie...thanks for sharing a personal situation.
ReplyDeleteEach time I read someones situation I can see the way it applies in my life as well. It may have a different scenario, but there are many similar feelings & stories. This self-realization is fruitful! I like where I am heading!